As I write this blog post, I am officially in the fat category. I’ve been here about 8 months now —since my baby boy was born— and I haven’t seen an ounce of about 40 pounds I gained during pregnancy just drop off on its own. I don’t think I’m in the obese category, but I’m significantly overweight for my short size. I’m writing this blog post because since being fat, I’ve noticed all kinds of different behaviour in how the outside world treats me.
I feel like I can’t eat in public, especially anything truly naughty like McDonalds. Over the summer, I got a cone of frozen yogurt, and was eating it, and a woman walked by and scowled at me, making some comment that I shouldn’t be doing that.
When I go into clothing shops, I can no longer find anything in my size. I can’t step foot in TopShop, H&M or Miss Sixty. Sizes in those retailers stop at about size 12. I don’t want to reveal exactly what size I am now, but I am beyond size 12.
I think I know I’m fat because of my Mom. Not one to hold back on critical review, she’s been giving me lectures about eating habits and the issues with weight. At one point she even told me that I had to lose weight because I didn’t want to die, now that I have a son to raise. She loves me, but I find the feedback harsh sometimes.
We all know the dangers of being fat — diabetes, heart attack, high blood pressure, and the list goes on. I’m particularly concerned about diabetes, as my fat Dad, who never makes much of an effort to lose weight, now has adult onset diabetes. These conditions loom in my head like dark clouds, shadowing with threatening doom.
Fortunately, I’ve got a loving husband who doesn’t pressure me or think I’m not attractive anymore. He notices my weight, but hasn’t been picking on me about it. He still tells me I’m beautiful. What a sweetie!
I was warned I would gain weight in pregnancy, but I didn’t expect to put on this much — and I did think that it would come off on its own. Because the weight hasn’t dropped, I’m now on a diet. Thanks to Mom, who has hooked me up with a special hormone diet called HCG, I’ve been trying now for two weeks to drop the pounds.
HCG is some sort of hormone (get this!) that occurs naturally during pregnancy and suppresses your appetite. I’ve got a bottle of the stuff (a present from Mom who got it from a doctor for $75) and I’m taking a squirt of it in the morning, and a squirt in the afternoon. I’m using HCG while being on a recommended 500 calorie a day diet. I’m eating lean meats and white fish, with vegetables. No carbs, no sugar, no alcohol, no cheese…no nothing, but lean protein and vegetables.
In just two weeks I’ve already lost 11 pounds! This is encouraging. I’m finding that HCG does help with the unbearable hunger pains. It hasn’t stopped my craving for things I can’t have, but it has eased the pain. I want pizza. I want chocolate. I want fish & chips. I want cake. But I’m working really really hard on this diet, and the early results are encouraging.
Noboby wants to be fat — but the French model Tara Lynn, pictured above, sure does wear it well. She was a Facebook sensation, with the photo of her in the wicker chair, causing a debate about whether fat or skinny is more beautiful. Tara shows us that curves are amazing on some women, especially if they are tall, as the weight can spread out more evenly. She makes me feel better about myself — go Tara. Even if, or when, I do lose weight, I won’t be skinny, as I’ve always been a bit curvy and round.
I’m not the only one who has blogged about being fat. The prolific Notes from the Fatosphere explores the issue in extreme detail. And Skinny vs. Curvy features celebrities fat and thin. I don’t intend to become a fat blogger, and this might be my only post about the subject.
Are you fat? How does the world make you feel?